Failure isn't the absolute worst thing that can happen to you - if you learn from it. If you don't learn and continue to fail, well that could be a problem.
As I mentioned, I finished BFF Dave's "Total Money Makeover" book. I really enjoyed the book. It helped me learn and to open myself to new financial outlooks.
In the first chapter, BFF Dave talks about how you are the source of your financial problems - and to change those problems, you have to not only change yourself/habits, but also reflect on how you got yourself into your situation.
So, how did I get myself into debt?
1. I bought a condo.
In 2007, I graduate from grad school and moved to Charlottesville. While searching for a place to live, I thought, "Well, hey! I'm an adult now. Sure, it sounds like a GREAT idea to buy! It's practical and it's cheaper than renting." In theory, yes it seemed like a good idea, but on a $32,000 salary, a $1040 mortgage plus $199.55 HOA fee was actually pretty stupid. But, I managed. I got a credit card, even worked a part-time job for a few months and made things work.
Then, 2009 happened. I was pretty unhappy with my job. I was job searching but I was having an absolutely awful time finding a job. So awful, in fact, that one of my rejection letters - I kid you not - was mailed to me with a sticky note that read "rejection letters" still attached to it. I was discouraged. I had a Master's degree, and at this point, some experience and couldn't find a job. It was a tough decision, but I accepted a temporary position working with my uncle. In Maryland.
In case you were wondering, yes, Maryland is kinda far from Charlottesville so we moved!
I will always wonder what might have been financially had we not moved to Maryland and had been able to keep the condo, but I've also learned that I can't dwell on the things that I can't change. All I can do is learn from those situations and move on. I'm moving on.
The condo ruined my credit. Tried to ruin me. But it hasn't.
2. I took out student loans.
Student loans = the devil. No, seriously, if you look up "devil" in the Dictionary According to Ashley, you will very clearly see the definition: devil, noun - loans of a student, used to pay for education.
In college, I should have worked more hours at my work study. I should applied for an on-campus residence life graduate assistanceship. I should have worked a part-time job. But I didn't. Shoulda, coulda, woulda.
Instead I took out student loans.
Me, circa 2002-2007: Yippee! Money! Woo! Yay! The government looooooves me! Woooooo!
Me, circa 2009-present: Devil. Student loans. Suck. You, yes you. #$!@!& [insert random assortment of choice four-letter words.]
(Random aside? I totally missed my calling as a theater or acting major seeing as I'm clearly dramatic.)
I've moaned and groaned about the amount I owe, and my point right now isn't the amount. It's that I could have prevented the amount, or kept it a little more reasonable. But I didn't. Putting on my big girl pants, moving on and literally paying the price.
3. I bought a new car that if I had been smarter about, I probably didn't need.
Catastrophic engine failure. That's the term Peter and I use to describe what happened to my shiny, adorable Hyundai Elantra. Overheating is apparently a bad thing. BUT, had I showed Peter or the guys working on my car my extended service contract, I probably could have had Kasey (yes, my Elantra had a name. Don't judge me.) fixed for around $100 bucks.
I don't need BFF Dave's advice to know that I made a stupid decision to buy a new car because I *wanted* a new car. I didn't NEED a new car. I have a new car, a Kia Sportage (her name is Lola. Again, no judgement.) and I absolutely love it, but I think I would love NOT owing $8500. Just sayin'...
4. I like pretty things. A lot.
Sigh. Sex and the City. You liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiied. I, unlike my favorite girls, do *not* get to spend all day drinking, eating and chatting. I, unlike my favorite girls, do *not* have a beautiful, expansive (read: expensive) wardrobe yearning to be worn out to the most fabulous locations.
Before meeting Peter, I shopped a WHOLE lot more than I do now. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I would buy things and not try them on, thinking (read: hoping), Oh? This dress is on super awesome sale? It's a size smaller than what I wear? No biggie! I'll lose weight and find a great place to wear it! Yay!
Just so you know, it is a biggie, I didn't lose the weight and there was never a place to wear it.
5. Credit card + binge eating = Fat and broke
It is embarrassing how much money I used to spend on food! What is more embarrassing is how much food I used to eat! I remember living in the sorority house, driving to Taco Bell and ordering a 7-layer burrito (with no guacamole, because clearly, eating the ONE part of the taco that might offer some nutritional value would just be silly) with nachos and THEN going next door to Wendy's for fries and a chicken sandwich. Sad but true. I'm trying not to cry as I type that, because it's so embarrassing BUT because I'm all about reflection, I'm reflecting...and it's no wonder why for so long a 258 pound, sad - and broke - girl stared back at me when I looked at myself in the mirror.
So, what have I learned?
Lesson 1:
A little hard work never hurt anyone, and can help you in the long run.
Solution: Part-time job.
Lesson 2:
Pretty things are pretty. If you have room for them and can afford them.
Solution: De-cluttering and selling some minor things.
Lesson 3:
Do MUCH more research and have down payments for large purchases.
Solution: Spend more than three weeks searching for next home in the future and save, save, save before purchasing either a new vehicle and/or home.
Lesson 4:
Budget and plan not only money for food, but calories for the my daily intake.
Solution: Plan meals in advance and take into consideration cost as well as nutrition contents. Also? Hitting the gym never hurt. Also, also? Coupons rock!
Facing yourself in the mirror and realizing how much work you - yes, YOU! - have to do to make some serious changes is really, really tough but it is awesomely liberating. I highly recommend it, especially if you have some hard changes you need to make whether it be financial, healthy lifestyle or a combination of things!
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